The other day, my friend who lives in Ohio told me that was experiencing SAD, a very common depression that people in cold, dark places often experience during the winters. A few days later, a flashing thought occurred to me that my friend could be suffering from vitamin D deficiency. Although I live in sunny CA, I was diagnosed with extreme vitamin D deficiency. Once I started taking supplements, my chronic headaches, extreme fatigue, anxiety, and depression greatly reduced. Immediately, I googled, "vitamin D and wintertime sadness". Countless articles written by doctors, nurses, and health practitioners popped up. There appeared to a correlation between winters and depression. Most of these articles recommended increased lighting in homes and taking Vitamin D supplements.
I immediately wanted to inform my friend of this. But for some reason, I hesitated.
"What if he feels like I'm lecturing him and gets offended?"
"What if he doesn't want my help?"
"He probably won't take them anyways."
"Should I just send him a bottle? No, that's too extreme."
These are only a few of the thoughts that raced through my mind. In the end, I decided to share with him my opinion. To not act out of fear felt wrong, weak.
Later that day, I sent him a link with a doctor explaining the correlation between vitamin D and SAD. I explained my own positive experiences, and how and when you should take the supplements. Then, I anxiously waited for his response.
His response: "OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH! This might be just what I need! I was reading about SAD the other day and it didn't even occur to me that it could be due to a vitamin deficiency. I'll get some supplements ASAP."
He proceeded to thank me 3 more times before heading on his way.
It's interesting to note that the concerns and anxiety I experienced were due to my past. In the past, people have kicked away my options and advice, got offended when I tried to help, and made me feel guilty for offering. To assume the same results from my friend is innately human, but it wasn't fair to him or to myself. My past built these defense mechanisms and walls that ultimately closed me off from others, all because of my fear of rejection. Because of my fear, I didn't allow myself to trust someone who was more than deserving of it. I almost didn't offer my advice; I almost didn't allow my friend that small piece of hope; and I almost did not allow for his gratitude. My hope is that I will come to recognize these instances in the future and if my fears are not justified, to be brave enough to overcome them.
